My thoughts of late have encompassed so many things, and I’ve been wrestling with wanting to share and not knowing exactly what to say that wouldn’t take pages of explanation, but right now this is what’s on my heart.

What if we were real? What if we became more vulnerable with each other about our issues and hangups? How much more could the true love of Christ be shown if unbelievers or even believers just struggling with their position in life could see that we are not very different from each other?

“Hi, my name is Candi and I struggle with perfectionism, insecurity, anxiety and panic attacks, raising my voice at my kids more often than i should, laziness when it comes to house cleaning, and eating right, amongst other things. “

There is not a huge chasm between me and the guy next door who struggles with alcohol or marijuana or codependency or rage. We all have a bent towards sin, and we are not required to fix our issues before we can receive Jesus’ gift. His gift that says, “Yeah, I know who you are. I know your ins and outs, and I still want you. I still think you’re amazing. I still see your potential! I still want to use you to make a difference!”

You are that person. We are so very very similar. And the Father of life, the Creator of the vast universe, still wants us!

“And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” 2 cor. 12:9

These last few weeks have been rough for my physically and mentally as I’m walking through anxiety and even panic attacks, a place I never thought I’d find myself. But I can say that through the journey He has shown me so many things…about Himself….about me….and oddly enough, about my potential and strengths even though at times all I can see is my weaknesses. It’s in these times of weakness that He pulls me close and reminds me that I am not perfect but He is. And He wants to work through me as I continue to lean into Him for what I lack. And let me clarify that this doesn’t mean I can continue to walk in habitual sin that I absolutely know is wrong. When we come to Him we have to decide to walk away from certain things, but what it does mean is that we can come exactly as we are and He won’t push us away. He will meet us there, and because His love is so great for us… for you…He won’t leave us where we are. Because He knows your potential in Him.

A diamond ring that gets dropped in the mud is still a diamond ring.

So…”Hi, my name is Candi and I struggle with perfectionism, insecurity, anxiety and panic attacks, raising my voice at my kids more often than I should, laziness when it comes to house cleaning, and eating right, amongst other things…But because of His love and redemption, I can also see that I lean towards compassion and mercy. I absolutely love helping people think outside the box, and empathy comes quickly for me when I see someone hurting. I dream of doing big things to combat injustice in this world, and music and worship are my very heartbeat.”

I am not perfect but He is, so I choose to follow Him as I trip and fall and get sidetracked and dirty along the way. Where else could I go?

I would absolutely love for you to add your “Hi, my name is…..” in a comment on the blog so long as after being real, you don’t forget to add your strengths!

If I can get enough of them, how cool would it be to pull them altogether in some format! I have a pretty cool techy hubby that could help with that.

Think of the people it could reach if they saw you being real.

I woke up at 6:15 because little Miss Jovie thinks that is when the day should start. I played with her in bed for about 15 minutes and then got up to get my coffee going, and maybe have some quiet time. Jovie wants food so I feed her some banana. Start my coffee. 6:45, Ethan walks out all sleepy eyed and parks on the couch while Dad is about to leave for work. 3 minutes later Caleb walks out. Pour 2 bowls of Cheerios and get water for the boys and then try to finish getting my cup of coffee ready. Sit down with my coffee and crack my Bible open while the kids are at the table. Read some, and write a few verses down. Remind kids to do their BB’s (brush teeth, make bed). Get Jovie down from the table, and hear the boys playing. Tell them again to do their morning chores.

After they finish the boys play or watch Wild Kratts  and I put Jovie in the exersaucer so I can get a shower. (I really needed it folks.) Get out, get dressed, and try to start the computer but the Internet is not working. I need to check emails and do some work on eBay so I need it to run. I do the usual Restart, take the battery out, try and repair the network connection, etc. No go.

Start to put Jovie down for her nap but decided to call Verizon  as well. (Not a smart decision. Reminder for next time: get the baby asleep first and THEN call.) Nice man tries to help me on the phone while the boys get too loud and Caleb starts whining for more food. Finally figure out that the problem was the little switch on the side of the laptop that had accidentally been switched so that the Internet couldn’t connect. (Insert joke here about how the lady called to see why her computer wouldn’t start and it was because she had it unplugged from the wall. Yep, that’s how I felt.) Finally get on for a few minutes to do emails and check eBay status for shipping a product while making sure Jovie goes to sleep.

Ethan comes to me and asks to clean the back doors to earn some extra money. I get him set up. Knowing that Caleb doesn’t have any money in his jar I ask him if he wants to sweep the floor under the kitchen table. I get him set up and help him as its not an easy task for a 4 year old. Divvy out the money and then Ethan wants to know if he can spend it….(I’ve been telling him no for a week now, so I decide to try and kill 2 birds with one stone.) I want to check out a garage sale to look for ebay items to sell (gotta shop sometime if I wanna make extra cash) and tell them they can look for something at the garage sale.

Jovie wakes up, we get loaded and stop at the garage sale. On the way I almost hit a car. The boys buy some little jets from the garage sale but Jovie is trying to run away so I can’t focus enough to shop for anything worthwhile. We head home and Ethan whines for food.

At home I make fruit kabobs as promised to the boys and also pass out some salami and cheese sticks while looking for something to feed Jovie. Get her going with some tuna and strawberries (not together, yuck). The boys go play while I make me a salad and put on some music to jam to while I try to pick up the kitchen. Eat my salad while sharing with Jovie who is asking for ‘mo’. Have the boys come out to help with kitchen chores as Jovie climbs in and out and around the dishwasher. Caleb’s job is putting the silverware away but today he doesn’t wanna do it. So he whines. Jovie gets stuck under a chair. (I’m sure there’s been a couple diaper changes in here, too.) Finish unloading but still have pots and pans to hand wash in the sink. They’re still there…

Jovie is fussy so we head outside for a bit. Ethan gives me a creature power badge to wear so we can all pretend we have creature powers. I’m a giraffe. Then he wants me to wear a crocodile mouth he made, too. So I’m a giraffe with a big paper crocodile mouth taped to my face. I explain to the boys that their inventions cannot stay outside and that I want my big decorative rocks to be put back where they were found. ( They look for bugs and forget to put them back often.) Caleb loses his jet that he just bought and needs help finding it. Can’t find it so I play catch with him outside for a few minutes. Come inside to read a story and put the boys down for quiet time…which is what we’re in right now. Jovie is asleep in the crib next to me and I’m typing this out not to complain (ok, maybe I’m venting a little) but to see if I’m measuring my day the right way.

Right now I feel like I did stuff ALL morning but have nothing to show for it. My house is still messy and my kids still needed to be disciplined a time or two, and we haven’t done art or music yet today for school. If I measure by that, then not much was accomplished.

BUT, if I think about my morning over again, there are some things to be thankful for and things that were worthwhile:

Caleb had a couple of temper tantrums and I was able to talk with him one on one about behavior and pray with him about how those times show us that we need more of Jesus.

Even if it wasn’t for long, I played creature power suits with Ethan, and catch with Caleb. They grow too fast…

My boys did their chores for the most part without a fight, and I know they are becoming more hard working which will be essential to them as leaders of their home one day.

I had coffee. (That stands alone.)

I have made some good food choices today for me and my kids.

I am not struggling today with anxiety and fear as I have been the past 2 weeks! (Thank you to those that have prayed for me <3 )

I danced around the kitchen with my daughter while listening to Toby Mac.

I still have the afternoon ahead of me to catch up on unfinished chores….or maybe take my kids to the playground.

Its very easy to measure my day by what I think it is supposed to look like. But let’s face it, life, and especially having kids, requires us to be flexible. Flexibility is a nonnegotiable. But changing my perspective allowed me to look at my morning again and FIND the good. Its a practice, just like Ann Voskamp talks about in her book, 1000 Gifts. I have to LOOK for the good and be thankful for it. And you know what, because I made that choice today, I can move forward with my afternoon, keeping my plans flexible, loving my God and my children at the foremost, having a joyful heart, rejoicing that His mercy is there if I screw up, and being thankful for whatever may come even if it wasn’t on my list.

Yep, the Reindl Academy of Books, Binders, and Paper Clutter has officially begun!  Ethan is in 1st grade and Caleb is in pre-K (if you wanna be technical). We started Monday and were done by 9:30!..? Apparently, I thought that going from Kindergarten to 1st grade was going to take over our whole morning, but when you start around 8am, it really doesn’t!

I spent a lot of time prepping for this year since we follow the Charlotte Mason style, and it has you reading a lot of books at one time on different days. I based some off of the Ambleside Online curriculum, http://amblesideonline.org/01sch.shtml, borrowed some resources from Simply Charlotte Mason, http://simplycharlottemason.com/ , and got a TON of practical ideas from this experience mother’s blog, http://www.charlottemasonhelp.com/ ( I really really love this site!) to come up with a workable plan for us.
Then I printed a one page word doc that has every day listed with things to do that day (color coded for the visual learner in me), and put it in the front of my homeschool binder. At the bottom it lists some informal activities to work on with Caleb (workbook, tracing, manipulatives, busy basket, etc.) and lists all of our Read Aloud books for this year with the subject next to it. It looks like this…

Monday’s list looked like this:

• Quiet time w/Ethan and his journal (encouraged to do this from that woman’s blog post on how she taught her kids to have quiet time with the Lord),
• Breakfast,
• BBWs ((bed, brush teeth, wipe sink) and a morning chore
• Storybook Bible
• Math workbook while Caleb works out of his basket
• Copywork
• Read Aloud from “A Child’s History of the World”, Ethan narrates,
• Add a picture to History Wall Timeline (a string to hang pics of each topic from the world history book in order of time)
• Free Play/Lunch
• Nap/Rest time
• Have Ethan practice reading to me
• Handicraft/Free Play
• Round Up Time (pick up anything that’s yours around the house)/Dinner
• Read to Caleb (at some point alone during the day is the goal)
• Bedtime

Each day will have a little variation since we only do history, science, and art and music 1-2 times a week. Science is covered by nature walks and nature journaling, and Apologia’s Land Animals book. We debated on this one but I love how you just focus on one topic for the whole year!! We let Ethan pick, and since he heard the word ‘spider’, he picked this one.

I decided this year that each day we will do something different for Bible time:

• Monday – Read from The Jesus Storybook Bible (If you don’t have this, get it! Its brought Keith and I both to tears, and its written for children. It’s written as the love story that the Bible truly is.)
• Tuesday- Read from A Child’s Book of Character Building
• Wednesday- Proverbs
• Thursday- Old Testament
• Friday- New Testament

Math is similar since Ethan really struggles with doing the workbook.

• Monday- workbook math
• Tuesday- Math games/manipulatives
• Wednesday- Starfall math
• Thursday- workbook math
• Friday- NO MATH!

Fridays are planned to be our easy days so we’ll do some art and music time, and run errands, or have playdates and such!

I thought that this would be a full (verging on cumbersome) schedule, but so far this week, it’s gone fairly smoothly minus some whining from the eldest that we have to do school “again?!” and we’re usually done well before lunch. Charlotte Mason also had the Year 1 kids starting to learn a foreign language and learning to recite a scripture passage and some poems (broken up over the year), but I was afraid of overdoing it at first. I think I may gradually work these in starting next week.

Overall, its been a great first week and we still have so much time for just exploring other interests. Today, Ethan wanted to know what kinds of clouds there are so went spent some time on Youtube and looking at weather books! I really believe they learn and retain so much more when it’s their own curiosity that sparks the study.

I’m sure our schedule will get tweaked once or twice…or more…as we get further into the year, but I feel good about how everything is flowing. For all you Mamas about to start the school year, YOU CAN DO IT! And as one Mom told me, “Teach them to love the Lord and everything else will fall into place.”

But not this time, buddy!

When I saw my friend, Missi, on Facebook saying that she was going to start it, I knew I needed to jump on board and ask for some accountability. It makes SUCH a difference knowing that someone else is doing it with you!

Some background for me: I got married right after turning 20 and weighed around 125 pounds. Since then, I’ve been married for 8 1/2 years and have had 3 children. I kept about 10 pounds after each child so I started this 30 day shred at about 160 pounds. Besides the workout, I also started tracking my calories. As much as I hate writing down what I eat, it really helped me to see how many calories I was taking in. I didn’t want to reduce too much as I’m still nursing my almost 7 month old and that could affect my milk supply. (Nursing mommas need an extra 4-500 calories a day.) I tried to keep it around 2000 calories but was not crazy strict about it. Some days I was a little under, some a little over.

I didn’t take pics so I have no before and after shots, but here are the results I do know about:

I lost 8 pounds!

I lost inches all over! (Keep in mind that you’re strengthening muscle so you might see inches come off before the weight does.) My arms and legs are tighter, my tummy is flatter (trouble zone for me!), and even my chest is a little smaller (3 kids remember? lol).

I’m fitting into pants about a size and a half smaller and I can fit a size smaller in shirts.

I feel stronger, and good! I’m able to go longer with more energy which is so needed with 3 small kiddos.

Overall, I am thrilled that I was able to discipline myself to follow through with it. I am a good starter but not usually a strong finisher. Ask my husband about all my unfinished art and house projects… And because I’ve been working hard at it and seeing results, its been easier to discipline myself to eat better. Seeing change really is a great motivator.

Last, but certainly not least, the Lord deserves the praise. This is an area I’ve been praying about for a while. As I mentioned, when I attempt these areas alone, I always fall short and have to deal with the disappointment. I had been praying for the Lord’s grace to help me in this area, and of course, He came to my aid. It’s by no means over because I can’t stop here. I have to keep the momentum going, for my health and for my children to have a good example to follow.

Next up, Ripped in 30 by Jillian.

Let’s git ‘er done!

http://www.mlive.com/news/detroit/index.ssf/2010/11/madison_heights_reconsidering.html

http://www.chicagobooth.edu/magazine/33/3/backstory.aspx.

This guy lives in a suburban Chicago neighborhood and raises chickens, heats their home with wood collected from the area, and has planted fruit and walnut trees on his property.

Some people go above and beyond…

http://www.examiner.com/biology-in-san-francisco/urban-farming-changes-run-down-lots-to-blooming-gardens.

https://sunhomedesign.wordpress.com/tag/suburban-farm/.

See all that greenery? Yep, that’s edible food right there. Granted, living in an HOA may have more restrictions, but still! Isn’t it awesome what you can do right where you are?

So, as I was drooling over these sites and things, I stumbled upon a new magazine called Urban Farm. After checking it out,  I signed up and got my first magazine yesterday. In love. Yep. I love it! Here’s their site in case you’re interested in reading some articles or subscribing for the mag ;o)

http://www.hobbyfarms.com/urban-farm/urban-farm.aspx

Some of the highlights ~

• Conservation Districts. Yeah, I’d seen that title before in those little city newspapers that come in the mail and never paid any attention. But did you know that in some cities, they will help finance some urban projects? The article, called “Modern-Day Deserts” told about a NC woman who wanted to install a rain garden and not only did she get consultation on how to do it from her city Conservation district, but she was also reimbursed for over half her costs! Definitely worth looking into.
• Books! They have a whole page dedicated to what books having to do with gardening and urban farms they recommend, with highlights.
• Vertical Apple Trees. Never in my life have I seen it, but you can grow thin, vertical apple trees in a planter on your patio! Since we live in a rental, I’ve put off the desire for planting fruit trees and the like because I know we won’t be here forever, but I can definitely start in a planter! Check out http://www.gardendebut.com/fruit-trees.php for more info on it.
• a whole 8 page article on Seed Starting!
• Edible Flowers. I had no idea you could eat roses. I still don’t know if I will, but I’m glad I know now! There’s even a recipe: 3 egg yolks, 1/2 cup of sugar, and 10 rose petals. Lightly coat the rose petals with egg yolk. Dip petals into the sugar and lightly coat both sides. Dry in room temp overnight. Serve as a beautiful garnish on a dessert.

• How to start grapes in a planter. …!!!…
• Different breeds of chickens
• And an awesome story about a company in Chicago called Growing Home (www.growinghomeinc.org) that is taking in homeless people, teaching them how to garden and harvest, and also giving them classes on finances, resumes, etc. They are also allotted a share of the crops, and its right in the heart of Chicago!

I hear the urban farm movement is picking up and I’m so glad to hear it. Its about time Americans realize that we can produce our own food, and live sustainably on our own, no matter where we are! I’m a novice, for sure, but so glad I have resources to help me learn.

In other news, tomorrow we are going to get our hens! I will be posting pics for sure!

Chickens!! I’m pretty sure that building the chicken coop has been the longest project ever. I and definitely not handy, and while my husband is, it just kept having to take a back seat. BUT, its almost finished! We just need to secure some hardware cloth around the run and the gate to keep dogs and such out, and then I am making the appointment to go pick up 2 hens from a chicken farm in Terrell! Did someone say homeschool field trip? Yup. You better believe it. I plan to ask this wonderful woman lots of questions and have her show the boys some things, also. Here are the updated pics of the coop!

I’m currently toying with names for the hens that we’ll get. They’re not going to be for meat, so naming should be safe. Maybe Lucy and Ethel? Henny and Penny? ….

30 Day Shred. Yep. Jillian Michaels’ workout, and it kicks butt. I finally have some accountability to follow through with it, and I’m on day 11 out of 30!! Its a 20 minute circuit training routine, and after 10 days you bump it up to the next level. I just started level 2 today and I was all over the place! I haven’t noticed weight loss, but I have noticed some toning going on. I’d love to see a little weight loss, though, as I’ve kept about 10 pounds after each of the 3 kiddos. So that’s 30 pounds that I’d love to see gone. I’m trying to watch my caloric intake, as well, but since I’m nursing I need to be careful not to affect the milk supply. The Lord knows this almost 6 monther loves to nurse! I love that the workout is only 20 minutes because its just enough time for me to do it without the boys hurting each other. Or burning the house down.

Which brings me to food! Since I’m watching calories, I’m trying to be more diligent with my meals being wholesome. I was doing that slowly before, but the workout gives me even more incentive. One of my new faves…

Quinoa and Black Beans! http://allrecipes.com/recipe/quinoa-and-black-beans/detail.aspx

Its a very quick meal with lots of flavor and nutrients, and makes great leftovers! You should make it! Costco sells the big bags of quinoa.

On the menu for this week is chicken tacos (I wonder if this will get hard to eat once I get my hens…), Veggie black bean gumbo (minus the okra as hubby is a Yankee and thinks its “mushy”), carrot BBQ chicken sammies, and  breakfast burritos (eggs and lunchmeat in a tortilla) which are super easy and the kids love!

I’ve also started my veggie seeds this week. Hoping to tackle some square gardening this spring and have enough to practice canning later on!

Lastly, school. Ethan just finished the 1st grade Handwriting Without Tears workbook so it was finally time for me to ‘Charlotte Mason-ize’ his copywork. We are starting with Psalm 23 and he’s doing great. He does a page or so of copying (depending on the sloppiness) and then we read it together from the beginning. It such a great way to help him with scripture memory!

Math has been an ongoing adventure. We were using Miquon math, but it got way advanced to Ethan very quickly, so I moseyed over to Mardel’s and looked through their books until I decided on a BJU (Bob Jones) workbook that I liked. This is our third time switching it up but we gotta do whatever works! Its fairly easy for him right now, but I want to still keep it fun for him, so I’m cool with that.

Now that spring is approaching (and Jovie is not a newborn), I plan to hit the nature notebook a little more often. This covers our science stuff for now except for the occasional experiment that he wants to do.

That’s pretty much it for the academics. As for other things we’re doing, we are doing Bible study in the mornings, reading through “On the Banks of Plum Creek”, some Arnold Lobel library books, some poems from “Where the Sidewalk Ends”, and when time permits, some poems and short stories from “Everyday Graces” which is great for learning manners.

Life is good here in the Reindl household.

Sure wish I could build a house right in the middle of this place! God certainly had me in mind when He placed us here. 

There’s even a couple of pecan trees and some edible berries growing through there! And, when there’s not a lot of fast mountain bikers shooting through, we can even venture down to the trails by the creek!

I’m definitely a land lover, and dream of a big yard, but this right here makes up for it! Its a boy’s paradise!

It’s nice to have boys who don’t mind getting in the dirt! Ethan said, “I can till it Mom! I like working in the garden. I wanna be a gardener one day.” Caleb was just happy I let him get dirty.

And we had a supervisor~

Until she found the prickly stuff nearby.

The plan is to add a few more bags of organic soil from the nearby feed store, and then I want to put some twine out to mark some squares so I can try my hand at square gardening. I hear you can produce a lot more!

Since I want to also to focus on canning this year, I only plan to plant:

carrots, bell peppers, cucumbers, tomatoes, basil, and maybe one fruit for my large planter on the patio

Update on the coop: It still looks the same as last time. I still want to get the chickens in the spring, but there are some decisions up in the air about timing on looking for a new house and such, and since this is a rental property, I’d hate to get the chickens and make a mess of part of the yard, only to start looking for a new place at the end of the year. BUT, we aren’t sure about anything yet, so I’ll keep you posted!

And for the grandparents that read this, Jovie’s new favorite thing is to grab her right foot. lol

Also, I have found it easier not to plan all my kitchen time on Tuesdays, so I’ll keep posting what I do in the kitchen, but it won’t just be on Tuesdays.  Ha! I may just change that link to Kitchen Happenings.

This shouldn’t be an excuse for not taking care of your home because as good stewards we absolutely should, but sometimes we feel like everyone else’s home must look like Pottery Barn and we start to compare ourselves with unreal thoughts, when in fact, most people’s homes that are lived in all day long, at some point probably look more like an animal barn. lol I know mine does! So be encouraged today if you’re struggling with expectations or unhealthy comparisons. We could all use to be a little more vulnerable with each other, that’s for sure!

It’s the linen closet.

Did I just hear you groan? lol Yep, that was me about a month ago. I had blankets and sheets falling everywhere, baskets of who knows what shoved in there, and clutter and more clutter.  I made myself tackle it one day, and I must say I’m glad that I did. It has not been hard to maintain as long as I give the boys boundaries about digging in their for fort materials, and as long as I fold things up and stack them nicely instead of shoving them in a crevice because something else was needing to be done or handled.

I wish I had a before pic, but  I don’t. I always love looking at before and afters. But here is my after…

The duffel bag on top contains another bag and some items that I don’t need access to very often. Next to that is a very large mattress cover. Down a shelf in the left basket are baby wash cloths, and the right one along with the clear plastic container has some random medicinal items, a back support brace, etc. Below that are obviously my sheets and towels. (Some of which I think I need to refold looking at this pic, lol!)

And the bottom…

Its hard to make out, but to the left are blankets folded up that the boys access a lot, and then a container for their shoes to the right. They’re still young enough that there’s no smell to deter me from keeping it in there. Ha! I see that changing in the future.

And you know, it didn’t take but about 30 minutes to tackle it. Its amazing what we can do if we just set aside a little time. I have many other areas that I know I could address.

And to inspire us, here are some fancy shmancy linen closets!

Yep, that definitely makes me wanna refold.

From the author of the blog, Simplified Bee. Love the tags on the baskets!

Mine may never look like these, but I’m glad I have put some order to it!